okay!!
now talking to honghong on msn,
awwww.
even mrs lee dowan i go sec 5,
uall still want me go sec5,
alot reasons and idk whye.
maybe i wokeup at the starting of the year,
and i fell asleep again until now?
idk,
shall i post his msn chatlog at here?
hahaha.
somebody sure sot.
hong, not i dowan go sec 5,
but actually is i dowana go even i get 19 points and below,
because it sucks.
idk, i would want a better life,
i know going up to sec 5 is everybody dreams.
i had once had this dream before,
but its like i dowan it already during this few months.
u cant understand a single shit.
and i dont even understand myself.
fuck my maths class,
everyone is doing their work,
only that dog is barking.
what for? purposely meh ?
its super irritating, and i would just wanna put my fist at his face.
and for god sake this is the first time i hate somebody until i wanna fuck the face.
sorry for the vulgarities.
i know east spring dont allow vulgarities ._.
somemore this sch..
i thot that thing ended long ago already?
why today thn give me my punishment during SFL.
hell isnt it.
now i felt abit regret,
i told misskoh, i am gonna study hard.
and this is what i do to myself , to my parents.
Sorry.
and gretchen too. i am real sorry lor.
idint know everything will happen like this,
and i know its like once bitten twice shy,
now ur like, or we like , or u dont even wanna..
aiya idk,
when we talk, i find it kind of weird.
idk, just sorry bah.
today F&N,
i thinkandthinkandthink.
i was thinking about the chatlet right after Nlevel that day.
this few days i kept think of it then suddenly dowan study,
dhen want faster take N level faster go chatlet.
i know thats kinda lame ._.
then i suddenly thot of,
the chatlet last 3 days,
after the 3 days, what u gonna do ?
i stunted. and i cant find an answer for myself.
honghong ask me study, say not worth like this.
okay lor, i myself know its not worth ._.
i study hao mah ?
i study lah.
i dowan to make any empty promises,
but i will just say for my OWN SAKE,
its my life anyway, its also not you guys de,
and uall keep ask me studystudystudy,
and i dint even get everything into my mind,
realised.. its my life. no matter what, nobody is gonna give a fuck for my future.
all teachers see me like see pests sia.
im sorry lor, this is also another reason for me to not stay in the sch nxt year.
i realised one thing,
you can have fun, you can make ur classmates laugh, you can make ur classmates like u,
but at the end of the day, whose gonna suffer?
who's losing out ?
who's shit are u gonna eat ?
who u have hurt ?
whats ur future like ?
how are you gonna survive when ur out of that sch ?
when are u gonna wakeup?
i am gonna suffer.
i am the one losing out, cus i dint study and my friends all studied except me.
im eating my own shit anw.
i hurt alot, my family.. teachers..
my future i may have sweep the floor of the whole singapore and i dontwant it.
iim not gonna survive out there, with no certs.
i am gonna wakeup now.
wah, suddenly thot of my chem.
also another cmi subject.
i really dk le.
i study now bah.. i dowana make promises,
but i will study..
thanks hong (: u said one thing,
" you still have us " why give a fuck to others.
Thanks (:
and my pigu hurts real lot man..
sigh, 2weeks to heal,
20days to prelium,
the cert i get takes forever.
i wanna study tonight.
jav? can ?
reply me asap.
thanks (:

Labels: Sometimes..